Last year, when I found myself planning my suicide, I also found out that my insurance company had dropped my mental health coverage, ironically, as a result of the Mental Health Parity Act. (The irony compounded by the fact that I'm desperately seeking help whilst being obsessed with ending my life.)
After the fog of frustration lifted, I had the thought that I do live in New York City (which some consider a socialist city-state), so there must be low-cost or free mental health care out there somewhere. I googled "free mental health care nyc" and got a link for clinical studies at Columbia and the NYS Psychiatric Institute.
Here it is for you: Free Clinical Studies
Click on "Find Clinical Studies" and you will be taken to a search screen. Check "Studies Offering Treatment" and "Outpatient" and click on "Search."
This will show you all the relevant studies available today. Read through until you find one that you think can help. I was lucky to find one that was testing the efficacy of Paxil vs. Wellbutrin on suicidality last year. That study seems to be over, but I notice that there is one that is studying brain imagery before and after antidepressant medication, so that must mean that you will be given antidepressants for free for a period of time and brain scans before and after the treatment. If you are only looking for psychotherapy, there are different trials for that, too. If you're not sure what will help you, they have a hotline number on the webpage that you can call and someone can help you find a trial.
There is usually a phone interview to see if you are eligible for the trial. During my trial, I was given great care by the doctors in charge. I was definitely cared for like a patient, not an experiment. I am still here because of their care.
Now: If you don't live in the NYC area, you can do the same Google search wherever you are: "Free mental health care yourcityhere." There are teaching hospitals and university programs all over the country.
I know how hard it is to fight for your life and ask for help when your mental illness is telling you that you're better off dead.
Do it anyway. Depression is real. Get help. You are worth it.
Click on "Find Clinical Studies" and you will be taken to a search screen. Check "Studies Offering Treatment" and "Outpatient" and click on "Search."
This will show you all the relevant studies available today. Read through until you find one that you think can help. I was lucky to find one that was testing the efficacy of Paxil vs. Wellbutrin on suicidality last year. That study seems to be over, but I notice that there is one that is studying brain imagery before and after antidepressant medication, so that must mean that you will be given antidepressants for free for a period of time and brain scans before and after the treatment. If you are only looking for psychotherapy, there are different trials for that, too. If you're not sure what will help you, they have a hotline number on the webpage that you can call and someone can help you find a trial.
There is usually a phone interview to see if you are eligible for the trial. During my trial, I was given great care by the doctors in charge. I was definitely cared for like a patient, not an experiment. I am still here because of their care.
Now: If you don't live in the NYC area, you can do the same Google search wherever you are: "Free mental health care yourcityhere." There are teaching hospitals and university programs all over the country.
I know how hard it is to fight for your life and ask for help when your mental illness is telling you that you're better off dead.
Do it anyway. Depression is real. Get help. You are worth it.
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